13 Hours Cast - Our writer frequents his local multiplexes and finds that Bay's Benghazi Spectacular is far from the perfect date movie, but it adds a certain slice of the American psyche.

At the end of last night's 523rd Republican presidential debate, Senator Ted Cruz, who you may remember as the demon spirit from the movie It Followed, suddenly transformed into a Moviephone character and reminded America that a very important movie had been made . Released on Friday. "Tomorrow morning, a new film will debut about the extraordinary bravery of the men fighting for their lives in Benghazi," he said. "And the politicians who abandoned them."

13 Hours Cast

13 Hours Cast

He was referring to the movie 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi, which you probably know better as "The Benghazi Movie". I honestly haven't heard many people refer to the film by its official title. Ask someone on the street if they've seen 13 Hours and they might say, "Hey, you mean the Spike Lee movie?" No, it's 25. "Is this a movie about the Cuban Missile Crisis?" Negative, it is thirteen days. So I just call it the Benghazi movie. A sequence similar to The Lego Movie, but with Batman, Lord Business and Wildstyle replaced by a series of sitcom actors with identical beards and some sheep.

Hours: The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi Trailer: John Krasinski Means Business

1 p.m.: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi Review - Michael Bay Politicizes the Fox News Crowd Read More

Senator Cruz is still incarcerated for the events of September 11, 2012, the attack on diplomatic bases and American espionage in Libya. To be honest, it was everyone else on stage last night. Chris Christie vowed that Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State at the time of the Benghazi attack, "wouldn't be able to get within 10 miles of the White House" because of her alleged crimes that made her president. That sounds kind of harsh. After all, she lived there. What if she left her sunglasses in Lincoln's bedroom?

But this pointed rhetoric is indicative of Clinton's conservative outlook and the Benghazi tragedy. They want someone punished, preferably Hillary, since she is actively running for the highest office in the land. Four Americans died, as well as those who lost their lives on the other side of the conflict. Those who survived the siege of the American posts had their lives irrevocably changed. No one should have to experience such a horror show.

Except you can currently, for a price. It only cost me $14, plus two Uber rides, to experience the aforementioned horror show – well, at least the shaky camera approximation of Michael Bay's multi-million dollar fantasy and horror show. After Ted Cruz's call to arms, I knew it was my duty as an American to swallow a bucket of popcorn like a bird while watching the truth about the heroes of Benghazi on the biggest screen available. I wanted to join my fellow patriots and do my duty. Plus, I had no other plans and no one was returning my calls.

Benghazi Movie '13 Hours' Premieres On The Big Screen At At&t Stadium

I was watching the movie at Americana at Brand, an outdoor pleasure palace that resembles a quaint, small-town American Main Street. There is a trolley that takes shoppers from one end of the mall to the other, which takes more than walking. I think it's great for tourists who like to take pictures. "Look, honey," they'll say. “There's an Apple Store! And the Candy Factory! And Sephora! Wow, this really is the greatest country in the world.” In that moment, when I experience the glory of capitalism, I am grateful that I was watching America for 13 hours. I remember what our children were fighting for in Libya.

I wanted to join my fellow patriots and do my duty. Plus, I had no other plans and no one was returning my calls

The center has a theater - a generic monstrosity called Pacific Theaters 18 - in the center of the complex. I walk half an hour before the show starts at 9.05pm. The front of the house clerk tells me to pick my seat - LA is gentrified, so most multiplexes now have assigned seating. I have a few options, as the theater is maybe 30% full if I'm being generous. I deliberately choose a seat near the screen, because if I'm going to get the truth about Benghazi, I want the whole truth.

13 Hours Cast

As I enter the hall, I scan the crowd to gauge the population. I can only see one woman and she is on a date. I wonder what kind of sad creature 13 Hours is considered an acceptable dated film. It's not really love, folks. After all, it's like death - a bleak, frustrating tale of noble beards fighting for survival. I think it's kind of romantic. John Krasinski's character has a wife and children (with another on the way) that motivate him to survive certain dangers at the hands of brutal, nihilistic terrorists. Maybe Ted Cruz will take his wife to see her on Valentine's Day and declare that he will gladly take another man to see her face again. Hold me, I'm sleeping.

Michael Bay's Benghazi Movie 13 Hours Is 'inaccurate', According To Cia Officer

All thoughts of romance leave me as the lights dim and ominous music begins. The film is very silent, very sad and very graphic. I laugh when the squirrel guy in Breaking Bad screams, "I don't want to hear it, Tyrone," as if he were the weirdo boss of a bad 80s cop movie. In the middle of the picture, Tobey Stephens - the English actor best known as the villain in the James Bond film Die Another Day - turns to the camera with a straight face and begs for "a sack full of money and a flight to Benghazi". . Just something clever and visually significant. I guarantee you, no one knew that the word "Benghazi" would mean so little to Americans back home almost four years later. However, Stephens delivers the line as if he's speaking to an audience in 2016 rather than a character sharing a scene in a fictional 2012 version.

After a fight and exposure, the violence begins. One of the main beards gets his arm shot in half and spends the better part of the third act with his arms flailing over the rest of his body like a sausage hanging in a deli window. The bay has fixed broken arm frames for maximum visual disruption. It's so hideous – what with the gushing blood and exposed bones and what not – that you can't help but shield your face from simulated disfigurement through the gap between your fingers. I can't help but wonder if the couple who came to see this movie regrets their decision as much as I do.

Dawn breaks and the cavalry arrives to rescue our heroes, and the film ends with our remaining beards making their way out of the hellish war zone and back to their families. The Wire's Nicky Sobotka asks John Krasinski what he gets for his trouble. Krasinski says, "We want to go home." At that moment it seemed to me that he was talking about me. Granted, I just saw the movie. I didn't even act on it. Of course I didn't live. Likewise, I was relieved to know that I too was going home. Like John Krasinski, I was ready to see my wife long suffering and lonely. I hoped she wasn't even pregnant.

The brave souls who had gone to the mall outside to watch a fake version of a real war quietly exit the theater. Hardly anyone talks to each other, maybe because of the seriousness of the art they see, or maybe because they're really tired from midnight on a Thursday. The lone couple made small talk, nothing about the movie as far as I could tell. Two men appear in front of me. They're whispering too, but I can definitely tell one of them is saying "shit." I don't know if it has to do with 13 Hours, the current state of the Los Angeles Lakers basketball team, or life in general. Some mysteries should never be solved.

John Krasinski In 13 Hours Pictures

My Uber driver on the ride home is named Lavrent. He speaks with an accent, but I dare not speculate on his origins for fear of mislabeling him. "It's very cold," Lavrent says, trying to make small talk. "Yes, although it might be bad. It might snow," I reply. He tells me how he once saw 20 minutes of snow in Burbank, not far from Glendale. His obligatory anecdote completed, I ask him how his night is going. We sit in silence for a while until we dare. "I just started," he said

Ruger 556 review, vg6 epsilon 556 review, msar stg 556 review, sinn 556 review, sinn 556 i review, meridian 556 review, eotech 556 review, precor efx 556 elliptical review, benchmade 556 review, surefire sfmb 556 review, precor efx 556 review, sinn 556 anniversary review